babies!

i hate babies. and children. they are a vile monstrosity that will one day cause the apocalypse, and it's highly unfortunate that in order for the human species to survive, we have to make babies, which grow into children, and cause the apocalypse.

my best friend is jonesing for a baby, and every time we walk past the baby section in target together, she starts cooing and making weird girl-noises. it's freaky. my reaction is to cringe and shake, as though a giant spider just crawled across my toe. i am not exaggerating. this is also my reaction when i am anywhere in the vicinity of some idiot who thought it might perhaps be a good idea to take their child into a public place.

however, one of my most favourite thing ever is to knit things for babies. like this one, beth's darling little olivia:


look at those pictures! pictures of babies are wonderful! pictures of babies don't cry and don't smell and don't poop and they make babies look so cute in little hand-knit items! so cute that i want to make squealy little girly noises. just like my best friend does at target.

my cousin has a baby due in november, the first baby to be born of my generation of cousins. my grandma's first great-grandbaby. this is a big deal, since my grandmother once showed me items she had purchased for her future great-grandbabies SEVEN YEARS AGO. she has been waiting a long time for the great-grandbabies.

and i am SO EXCITED to be knitting lovely things for the tiny person. i know it makes no sense that i hate babies and even the baby section at target, yet i love to knit things for babies. i am sorry, I MAKE NO SENSE. i also love that my cousin is not finding out the gender of the baby until it is born, which means i get to knit yellow and green and brown and gray things. i want DESPERATELY to post photos of the tiny knitted things, but many of the most avid readers of my blog are family, and since the exact nature of the knitted items are to be a surprise, i will wait until after the baby shower to post photos of the things i have made. and hopefully in a few months my cousin will send me photos of the baby wearing the things i have made.

and thankfully, i have roughly 11 hours of train time this weekend, because i only have 3 weeks until the baby shower and that is not enough time to knit all the pretty, tiny things i want to make.