hope

hope is the most dangerous and miserable of demons. like the glorious sunny weather of southern california summers, which result invariably in dangerous wildfires that burn entire counties to the ground. hope is wonderful, but insidious; it makes drastic alterations to one's state of mind and state of being, seemingly for the best, and then leaves nothing behind but ashes, and the fortunate few homes that manage to evade the fires. life begins again, and buildings are rebuilt -- yes, but nothing is ever quite the same.

but then perhaps this is part of the natural renewal process, and the structures that we build ourselves to live in are preventing natural and healthy phenomenon from taking place. instead of the regular cleansing the countryside of unwanted growth, the overcrowded structures we build -- which we argue are to make our lives better -- are taken down in a flash. palates are cleared, slates wiped clean.

hope is still dangerous and ugly, leaving many casualties in its wake, but perhaps we should let it in more often, so that there is less to burn when it does come through, and the ashes fertilize the land so it can regrow quickly, rather than leaving it barren for years.

"we tell ourselves the reality is better. we convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. we awake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. and if we're lucky, we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life, the true dream is being able to dream at all."