My best college friend, Sarah, once said about me: "Helena has no fewer than five stalkers at any given point in time." This has proven to be true for reasons that I have never understood. If you're interested in stalking me, I am currently accepting applications. You should contact me. If you're any good, you will know how to do that without me spelling it out for you.
If you don't want to stalk me, but you just want to say "Hi," I can be reached at: sanctimony.net@gmail.com
If you're not sure where to start, I've picked out a few of my favourite posts for you to peek at.